Life never really goes back to being the same. No more partying frequently or even occasionally. In my case its endangered and I'm lucky if it happens once a year. No more alone time or free time. No room for a night . out with the girls. For Some moms that's okay, life happens, thing are suppose to change. Your life is now dedicated to a child who honestly needs you there. Things may get better when they start school, but that free time you may have will probably have to go towards, cleaning, working and running errands. Which is what you most likely did before but now you can do it in peace.
Most friends don't understand the change. They don't see that if your a stay at home mom you are a full time provider, or if your breastfeeding that your nursing baby needs you at night. They wont see that the club scene is really no place for a mother of 2 and wont appreciate that you went that one time two years ago. They wont get why you cant have that 4th drink or why you are just saying NO
I went out with a friend about 2 or 3x (within the past 3+ years) and I remember her asking me why it seemed like I was in a rush to do things and get home early as if I had a curfew. Subconsciously I did. I was like Cinderella trying to make it home in time to my kids to make sure no one woke up angry or asked for mommy. Although I was glad to be out, a part of me was still home. I would take back a drink and look into it right before I drank it and think about my kids - Where they okay? Did they need me? Did I leave enough milk for my breastfed child? Sure dads home but Dad is not mom. They wont understand that, they wont see that dad is really only like an assistant (your lucky if hes even that) or that you honestly miss your kids even if you been at home with them everyday for the past two years.
Sure I need a break, but it gets kind of tiring when friends tell me I NEED to go out as if I lost something in my life. I'd like to go out, but not as frequently as my friends think. Id like to have a drink once in a blue, but I dont want to get drunk like Im at a college frat party. Your friends wont understand, that you will choose a night of sleep over a night of good ol dancing and some fun. Sleep seems way more important as a mom. Even a nice shower is a treat as a mother. But they wont understand that.
When you have children not only does your life change, but your relationship with others do. Your best friend of many years may now only be someone you speak to once a month (when you used to speak to her 20x a day). Your mother may suddenly ask why don't you call her any more like you used to (forgetting that there isn't much time for phone calls these days). Your husband may wonder what happened to the days where you guys would be physically intimate. It all changes.
Your lucky if you get a few that stick around, the ones who understand all the madness and still remain persistent in an ever evolving relationship. A good friend one wont get annoyed that you never called back because they know you have a lot going on. Don't feel lonely that everyone has seemed to continue with their life because they did what they are suppose to do, Their life didn't change, yours did and you continued on with your new life as they did with their usual life.
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