Breastfeeding

I've been almost breastfeeding for almost 3 years. My journey has been long and hard! I breastfed my daughter for 18 months and she self weaned because I was 5 months pregnant with her brother. Mommy's milk turned in to "Yuk". I got a 4 month nursing gap and then nursed my son who is still actively breastfed at 12 months.

I must say breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I ever had to do (even harder then telling my mom I was pregnant!). It really does take time and dedication and I think that's what most books and pamphlets and Breastfeeding advocates forget to tell you. It's hard work and you have to want to do it to make it work. No one in my family had breastfed. I was the first. I'm sure many people doubted me. All everyone could tell me was that it hurt and they only did it for 2 weeks (which is probably a lie), they said it was nasty and degrading, they said I would hate it. I was 19 a first time mom and knew squat about breastfeeding or being a mother but I was Determined.

I believe that a mother should give her child the best she can offer. Breast milk is the best a mother can offer to her child unless something else arises that gets in the way. I had a c section with Summer and I remember having such a hard time getting to latch. She hadnt eaten in hours and I was in pain and stressed out. I would litterally muffle her cries with my breast because I was so detemined to keep trying. After a certain point I just gave her formula until a nurse walked in and asked my I was giving her that. If I could, I would Thank that nurse because I never gave my daughter formula again. It was just the push I needed. I acted as formula didnt exist from that point on. I kept going, even with the strange stares from my cousins and questions from my aunts.

I sent formula to exile and there I was nursing every 15 minutes, sleep deprived with raw bloddy nipples. Summer had a terrible latch that would cause such terrible pain I literally had to bite down on something every time she latched on. I had to pump like crazy too because I had to go back to school in 3 days and I was just questioning myself every time I let her nurse. I was in pain and miserable. I couldnt take it but I couldnt give her formula. Something in me would not let it happen. I wanted to give my baby the best and I also secretly wanted to prove everyone wrong. You can breastfeed and be a young mom. I'm not too good to have leaky boobs or too young to try something new. I did it.

After a month of nursing the pain suddenly stopped and it got better but other problems were still relevant. Like her bad latch, terrible sleep pattern, my destroyed nipples and her massive dumps (Breastmilk is a natural laxative for infants). Thinking back on it it was really a struggle but worth every tear.

Everyone asked How long I was going to nurse and why I was going to nurse so long. I always felt like I should have my own pamphlet as to why I am doing what I'm doing. It would say something like

 "I'm letting my child self wean. Why? Because Its whats best for my child.
 I have no problem nursing a toddler. Why? because I don't have an over sexualized mind like the rest of Americans. A child in most countries will nurse till 7 and is considered disgusting here, yet a grown man can fondle and suck a breast and its ok.
Breastfed children get sick less and fight better against illness.
its good for mom too (weight loss, less likely to get breast cancer)
Why I dont give formula? Because its not THE BEST I can offer.
Why don't I fully cover while nursing? My answer: Last I heard this is america, we don't eat under blankets here so why should my baby?"

Im Sure I can add much much much more. You never get to know how ignorant a person can really be until your faced with a person who questions every good thing about breastfeeding and makes it seem sexual.

 I don't think I'm better than mothers who cant or choose not to breastfeed. I do feel like I've endured a lot and to me its not just breastfeeding. Its a bonding experience, its being able to cuddle with your child all day everyday. Being there for your child when something hurts or they just need comfort. This is what nursing can offer and so much more. It becomes a security thing for mother and child. Its a huge accomplishment to go this far. So what if I my tits are "ruined" or if I had to spoil my baby by picking her up every 15 minutes. Im proud of myself.