Becoming a mom *again* to your first after the second.

When Leo was born Summer was exactly 1 day shy of being 22 months old. My almost 2 year old took sister hood like a champ. No jealous fits, almost understanding to this new creature who had barged into her life. How rude of him! Coming into our lives, demanding all of this attention. I thought I had the reins on things, but reality struck hard and fast. I thought life was hard with one (how ungrateful of me). Now its beyond hard. I had to learn the art of multitasking times two,

I remember the first time I got to cook breakfast for the first time alone with just the kids. I felt so accomplished. Little did I know was that for the following days to come, I would burn my bacon 3 days in a row and serve Summer cold eggs because Leo demanded his breast milk straight from the tap.

I often felt over whelmed with the two of them around, sometimes Summer would be clingy, It was normal, she was still a baby herself. She wanted hugs and cuddles too and so did Leo. I would sit and think, "How could I be a mother to my second when I'm still learning how to be a mother to my first? Why is being a second time mom Feeling like I'm a first time mom? WTF did I get myself into?"

Leo was like his sister in many ways but like himself in a million more ways. He wouldn't take a pacifier, Summer did, I didn't know how to sooth a child who didn't want to pacifier, but I learned. I became the paci. Nursing On demand, doing anything to give Summer and I peace and quiet.

 The book I read during my second pregnancy was on preparing for adding an additional child to the family, the second child. It Fixated a lot on how to introduce your first to your second. I don't ever recall it explaining that with your second it will be like doing it all over again times 2! My kids are close in age so it may be different for people who have larger gaps in years between their kids. The book didn't prepare me.

Some days are easier then others, most days I'm going bonkers but I tell you this much, with time I've learned to mother both my children. Its been almost a year since Leo has came into our lives and I'm still getting to know him. Summer's almost 3 and I'm going through the trials and tribulations of potty training and the "terrible 2's" that shes had since she was 1. Leo is still demanding, still hard to satisfy and still denying the pacifier.

 Life changed for me and Summer. No more "one on one" time, she had to share toys, I share myself. There really is no great advice for someone expecting their second child. I just feel like you shouldn't forget about your first, let family help you, love can come from all places, don't feel like you have to be the sole provider for love, hugs and kisses. Make time, even if you cant seem to find it. Read more books, you may not be a conversation with them but you will be implicitly talking to them. Before you know it they will be entertaining each other and they wont need you any more.