I'm sure many of you out there are wondering why I don't want to know as a super mom. I know I'm not alone in the Anti Super mom image. I know many people look at me like a super mom but I don't feel like I am because at the end of the day, I'm just doing my Job as a mother.
In life perfection is hard to come by. A lot of people thrive for perfection, whether it's being the right weight or having the best grades in school. I thrive to be the best mother I can be. I know I'm not perfect even though it may seem like that to the outside world, but I try damn hard to do what I can.
Super mom is Perfection In my eyes (it may be different in yours). The woman who is up at 7am, has breakfast ready at 8, lunch at noon and Dinner at 6, has the laundry done and folded, and a clean house from top to bottom and fresh looking kids 24.7. Super mom is never loosing your temper or letting things go crazy. All these accomplishment with 5 kids and a husband to tend to.
That's not me. I stumble, I fall, I cry. I get angry, sad, happy and frustrated in a 25 minute time span because that's what being a stay at home mom is about. The love and sometimes hate relationship you can have with your kids. The ice cream on the rug and the clay in the hair, the new artist using the wall as her canvas and the little boy who just loves playing with dog food; It all adds up and seems like this is my perfection. Breakfast, lunch and dinner when ever it can happen and laundry once a month. That's life for me. In pajamas all day, resting in the sun that creeps through the window pretending we are playing in the sand at the beach. Watching too much cartoons and reading 1000 books and working when I can. Routines...What routine? That was out the window the day I chose to breastfeed. This is my chaos, our life, our way.
Super moms have no room to fail or grow because they are already perfect. Super moms plaster a smile on their face each day and pretend everything is okay when In reality is probably not. I'm far from perfect and don't feel bad if you are from it too because it just means that there is always something new to learn and do.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Breastfeeding
I've been almost breastfeeding for almost 3 years. My journey has been long and hard! I breastfed my daughter for 18 months and she self weaned because I was 5 months pregnant with her brother. Mommy's milk turned in to "Yuk". I got a 4 month nursing gap and then nursed my son who is still actively breastfed at 12 months.
I must say breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I ever had to do (even harder then telling my mom I was pregnant!). It really does take time and dedication and I think that's what most books and pamphlets and Breastfeeding advocates forget to tell you. It's hard work and you have to want to do it to make it work. No one in my family had breastfed. I was the first. I'm sure many people doubted me. All everyone could tell me was that it hurt and they only did it for 2 weeks (which is probably a lie), they said it was nasty and degrading, they said I would hate it. I was 19 a first time mom and knew squat about breastfeeding or being a mother but I was Determined.
I believe that a mother should give her child the best she can offer. Breast milk is the best a mother can offer to her child unless something else arises that gets in the way. I had a c section with Summer and I remember having such a hard time getting to latch. She hadnt eaten in hours and I was in pain and stressed out. I would litterally muffle her cries with my breast because I was so detemined to keep trying. After a certain point I just gave her formula until a nurse walked in and asked my I was giving her that. If I could, I would Thank that nurse because I never gave my daughter formula again. It was just the push I needed. I acted as formula didnt exist from that point on. I kept going, even with the strange stares from my cousins and questions from my aunts.
I sent formula to exile and there I was nursing every 15 minutes, sleep deprived with raw bloddy nipples. Summer had a terrible latch that would cause such terrible pain I literally had to bite down on something every time she latched on. I had to pump like crazy too because I had to go back to school in 3 days and I was just questioning myself every time I let her nurse. I was in pain and miserable. I couldnt take it but I couldnt give her formula. Something in me would not let it happen. I wanted to give my baby the best and I also secretly wanted to prove everyone wrong. You can breastfeed and be a young mom. I'm not too good to have leaky boobs or too young to try something new. I did it.
After a month of nursing the pain suddenly stopped and it got better but other problems were still relevant. Like her bad latch, terrible sleep pattern, my destroyed nipples and her massive dumps (Breastmilk is a natural laxative for infants). Thinking back on it it was really a struggle but worth every tear.
Everyone asked How long I was going to nurse and why I was going to nurse so long. I always felt like I should have my own pamphlet as to why I am doing what I'm doing. It would say something like
"I'm letting my child self wean. Why? Because Its whats best for my child.
I have no problem nursing a toddler. Why? because I don't have an over sexualized mind like the rest of Americans. A child in most countries will nurse till 7 and is considered disgusting here, yet a grown man can fondle and suck a breast and its ok.
Breastfed children get sick less and fight better against illness.
its good for mom too (weight loss, less likely to get breast cancer)
Why I dont give formula? Because its not THE BEST I can offer.
Why don't I fully cover while nursing? My answer: Last I heard this is america, we don't eat under blankets here so why should my baby?"
Im Sure I can add much much much more. You never get to know how ignorant a person can really be until your faced with a person who questions every good thing about breastfeeding and makes it seem sexual.
I don't think I'm better than mothers who cant or choose not to breastfeed. I do feel like I've endured a lot and to me its not just breastfeeding. Its a bonding experience, its being able to cuddle with your child all day everyday. Being there for your child when something hurts or they just need comfort. This is what nursing can offer and so much more. It becomes a security thing for mother and child. Its a huge accomplishment to go this far. So what if I my tits are "ruined" or if I had to spoil my baby by picking her up every 15 minutes. Im proud of myself.
I must say breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I ever had to do (even harder then telling my mom I was pregnant!). It really does take time and dedication and I think that's what most books and pamphlets and Breastfeeding advocates forget to tell you. It's hard work and you have to want to do it to make it work. No one in my family had breastfed. I was the first. I'm sure many people doubted me. All everyone could tell me was that it hurt and they only did it for 2 weeks (which is probably a lie), they said it was nasty and degrading, they said I would hate it. I was 19 a first time mom and knew squat about breastfeeding or being a mother but I was Determined.
I believe that a mother should give her child the best she can offer. Breast milk is the best a mother can offer to her child unless something else arises that gets in the way. I had a c section with Summer and I remember having such a hard time getting to latch. She hadnt eaten in hours and I was in pain and stressed out. I would litterally muffle her cries with my breast because I was so detemined to keep trying. After a certain point I just gave her formula until a nurse walked in and asked my I was giving her that. If I could, I would Thank that nurse because I never gave my daughter formula again. It was just the push I needed. I acted as formula didnt exist from that point on. I kept going, even with the strange stares from my cousins and questions from my aunts.
I sent formula to exile and there I was nursing every 15 minutes, sleep deprived with raw bloddy nipples. Summer had a terrible latch that would cause such terrible pain I literally had to bite down on something every time she latched on. I had to pump like crazy too because I had to go back to school in 3 days and I was just questioning myself every time I let her nurse. I was in pain and miserable. I couldnt take it but I couldnt give her formula. Something in me would not let it happen. I wanted to give my baby the best and I also secretly wanted to prove everyone wrong. You can breastfeed and be a young mom. I'm not too good to have leaky boobs or too young to try something new. I did it.
After a month of nursing the pain suddenly stopped and it got better but other problems were still relevant. Like her bad latch, terrible sleep pattern, my destroyed nipples and her massive dumps (Breastmilk is a natural laxative for infants). Thinking back on it it was really a struggle but worth every tear.
Everyone asked How long I was going to nurse and why I was going to nurse so long. I always felt like I should have my own pamphlet as to why I am doing what I'm doing. It would say something like
"I'm letting my child self wean. Why? Because Its whats best for my child.
I have no problem nursing a toddler. Why? because I don't have an over sexualized mind like the rest of Americans. A child in most countries will nurse till 7 and is considered disgusting here, yet a grown man can fondle and suck a breast and its ok.
Breastfed children get sick less and fight better against illness.
its good for mom too (weight loss, less likely to get breast cancer)
Why I dont give formula? Because its not THE BEST I can offer.
Why don't I fully cover while nursing? My answer: Last I heard this is america, we don't eat under blankets here so why should my baby?"
Im Sure I can add much much much more. You never get to know how ignorant a person can really be until your faced with a person who questions every good thing about breastfeeding and makes it seem sexual.
I don't think I'm better than mothers who cant or choose not to breastfeed. I do feel like I've endured a lot and to me its not just breastfeeding. Its a bonding experience, its being able to cuddle with your child all day everyday. Being there for your child when something hurts or they just need comfort. This is what nursing can offer and so much more. It becomes a security thing for mother and child. Its a huge accomplishment to go this far. So what if I my tits are "ruined" or if I had to spoil my baby by picking her up every 15 minutes. Im proud of myself.
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