I am truly a firm believer that you must have some sort of patience to get by as a parent. You cant skimp by on that. Sure, I'm a firm believer in it but I never knew how much I would exactly need to survive mother hood.
Sleepless nights and crying child can wear down on your patience. My kids never slept good and infants. Always waking up every 30 minutes to nurse. Never satisfied, always crying. It was so hard. I would sit and think, "If this is hard now, imagine when they get older". They say the kids get better with time, it doesn't, when one thing is over a new habit starts, example, tons of drooling from teething babies leads to teeth to bite moms nipple off during nursing sessions, some babies are cereal bitters, thank god mines weren't!
Some nights it was so bad, i would cry too, I figured hey, maybe they will have some sympathy on me and just go to sleep. yeah, who was I kidding? There's no room to be a baby when your taking care of a baby. Mother hood is so hard sometimes and I find myself searching for patience high and low. Its often being stretched in the middle of the day and by nap time I'm running on E!
Lucky thing for us moms (and dads) is that patience can be Replenished! Sometimes it takes a little digging to find out what will help you get back in to mommy mode and away from a mommy melt down. I often say I love my kids a little more after they nap because its like fresh start. 20 minutes of peace can do wonders on someones mind! Every morning wake up like its a new day because guess what? It is! Your patience level will be refilled!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Did you notice the leaves were changing?
The weather has suddenly changed. Its much colder than it was yesterday but the sun is still shining. The winter is approaching, dreading the winter time. I just totally skipped the fact that fall has arrived. Pumpkin picking, Apple orchards, halloween costumes and family dinners. Oh yes and the leaves are changing.
Every year I promise myself I'm going to stop and realize the leaves are changing . Not look up one day while on the highway and finally realize the leaves look more beautiful than when they are just plain ol' green. It never happens, Maybe this year it will.
My sons 1st birthday party approaching and as I was preparing a sweet 12 month collage of him and I realized he changed right before my eyes. He was once a ball of cells and now he is this little being. He went from 0 (mph) to 60 in 12 months but it feels like 5 minutes. How could I not see the transformation? I'm glad I took many pictures of him. Sometimes its hard to see the gradual changes. Physically and mentally.
We should take more time out our days to see things. Make an actual effort instead of just letting life pass us by. We are are living but are hardly enjoying the existence of the small things. The leaves changing or the way a little boy can grow in to a handsome little Hercules both have the same significance. Realize whats in front of you before life passes you by.
Every year I promise myself I'm going to stop and realize the leaves are changing . Not look up one day while on the highway and finally realize the leaves look more beautiful than when they are just plain ol' green. It never happens, Maybe this year it will.
My sons 1st birthday party approaching and as I was preparing a sweet 12 month collage of him and I realized he changed right before my eyes. He was once a ball of cells and now he is this little being. He went from 0 (mph) to 60 in 12 months but it feels like 5 minutes. How could I not see the transformation? I'm glad I took many pictures of him. Sometimes its hard to see the gradual changes. Physically and mentally.
We should take more time out our days to see things. Make an actual effort instead of just letting life pass us by. We are are living but are hardly enjoying the existence of the small things. The leaves changing or the way a little boy can grow in to a handsome little Hercules both have the same significance. Realize whats in front of you before life passes you by.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Becoming a mom *again* to your first after the second.
When Leo was born Summer was exactly 1 day shy of being 22 months old. My almost 2 year old took sister hood like a champ. No jealous fits, almost understanding to this new creature who had barged into her life. How rude of him! Coming into our lives, demanding all of this attention. I thought I had the reins on things, but reality struck hard and fast. I thought life was hard with one (how ungrateful of me). Now its beyond hard. I had to learn the art of multitasking times two,
I remember the first time I got to cook breakfast for the first time alone with just the kids. I felt so accomplished. Little did I know was that for the following days to come, I would burn my bacon 3 days in a row and serve Summer cold eggs because Leo demanded his breast milk straight from the tap.
I often felt over whelmed with the two of them around, sometimes Summer would be clingy, It was normal, she was still a baby herself. She wanted hugs and cuddles too and so did Leo. I would sit and think, "How could I be a mother to my second when I'm still learning how to be a mother to my first? Why is being a second time mom Feeling like I'm a first time mom? WTF did I get myself into?"
Leo was like his sister in many ways but like himself in a million more ways. He wouldn't take a pacifier, Summer did, I didn't know how to sooth a child who didn't want to pacifier, but I learned. I became the paci. Nursing On demand, doing anything to give Summer and I peace and quiet.
The book I read during my second pregnancy was on preparing for adding an additional child to the family, the second child. It Fixated a lot on how to introduce your first to your second. I don't ever recall it explaining that with your second it will be like doing it all over again times 2! My kids are close in age so it may be different for people who have larger gaps in years between their kids. The book didn't prepare me.
Some days are easier then others, most days I'm going bonkers but I tell you this much, with time I've learned to mother both my children. Its been almost a year since Leo has came into our lives and I'm still getting to know him. Summer's almost 3 and I'm going through the trials and tribulations of potty training and the "terrible 2's" that shes had since she was 1. Leo is still demanding, still hard to satisfy and still denying the pacifier.
Life changed for me and Summer. No more "one on one" time, she had to share toys, I share myself. There really is no great advice for someone expecting their second child. I just feel like you shouldn't forget about your first, let family help you, love can come from all places, don't feel like you have to be the sole provider for love, hugs and kisses. Make time, even if you cant seem to find it. Read more books, you may not be a conversation with them but you will be implicitly talking to them. Before you know it they will be entertaining each other and they wont need you any more.
I remember the first time I got to cook breakfast for the first time alone with just the kids. I felt so accomplished. Little did I know was that for the following days to come, I would burn my bacon 3 days in a row and serve Summer cold eggs because Leo demanded his breast milk straight from the tap.
I often felt over whelmed with the two of them around, sometimes Summer would be clingy, It was normal, she was still a baby herself. She wanted hugs and cuddles too and so did Leo. I would sit and think, "How could I be a mother to my second when I'm still learning how to be a mother to my first? Why is being a second time mom Feeling like I'm a first time mom? WTF did I get myself into?"
Leo was like his sister in many ways but like himself in a million more ways. He wouldn't take a pacifier, Summer did, I didn't know how to sooth a child who didn't want to pacifier, but I learned. I became the paci. Nursing On demand, doing anything to give Summer and I peace and quiet.
The book I read during my second pregnancy was on preparing for adding an additional child to the family, the second child. It Fixated a lot on how to introduce your first to your second. I don't ever recall it explaining that with your second it will be like doing it all over again times 2! My kids are close in age so it may be different for people who have larger gaps in years between their kids. The book didn't prepare me.
Some days are easier then others, most days I'm going bonkers but I tell you this much, with time I've learned to mother both my children. Its been almost a year since Leo has came into our lives and I'm still getting to know him. Summer's almost 3 and I'm going through the trials and tribulations of potty training and the "terrible 2's" that shes had since she was 1. Leo is still demanding, still hard to satisfy and still denying the pacifier.
Life changed for me and Summer. No more "one on one" time, she had to share toys, I share myself. There really is no great advice for someone expecting their second child. I just feel like you shouldn't forget about your first, let family help you, love can come from all places, don't feel like you have to be the sole provider for love, hugs and kisses. Make time, even if you cant seem to find it. Read more books, you may not be a conversation with them but you will be implicitly talking to them. Before you know it they will be entertaining each other and they wont need you any more.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Breastfeeding Produces Milk not "Daddy's boys" Or "Daddy's girls"
I find it kind of amusing how almost everyone who approaches me when I'm with my two monkeys and they automatically assumes that one of the kids is Daddy's boy or girl. I have two happy kids on each hip (an almost 3 and 1 year old), while dad freely roams the isles ( do I sound jealous? I am!). Does it look like they belong to daddy?
Breastfeeding both my children has given us a very, very, very, very Strong bond, stronger then gorilla glue! I'm sure all breastfeeding advocates say "breast is best, you build such a strong bond". What they don't tell you is that as the sole provider for nutrition (breastfeeding, not pumping) your child will imprint your face in their brain, JUST LIKE A GOSLING
. You are the moon (their pamper), the stars (their pump cloth) and the sky (their wipey), and daddy (quoted from my husband) is "the help".
Not only are you the sole nutritional provider, you also end up doing everything else most of the time because lets face it, breastfed babies nurse a lot. You might as well change that poopy diaper dads running from, and while your at it change the clothes too. Might as well shower them, might as well do everything else!
I often feel that there is no room for dad when it comes to the breastfed baby. We are taught not to pump for 2 months, breastfeed on demand, stare at your baby, cuddle your baby, wake up every hour at night and nurse 15x a day, be there for your baby AT ALL TIMES. Where's dads spot? Where does dad fit into this this equation? I often argued with my husband about me doing all the work when in the reality my baby chose me to do all the work. They didn't want dad. They wanted a warm breast, warm milk, long hair to wrap around their tiny fingers, a soft spot in the perfect place. A woman was built to do this and her infant was meant to need her.
My son is a mama's boy and my daughter is mama's girl. It is apparent at all times, it's probably the only thing my husband gets jealous about (I'm pretty sure he could do without all the hard work). Dad shouldn't get credit for my lactating boobs, 3am feedings at 14 months (yes, 14 months) and hard work. They are mines :)
****************
Every situation is different, this is mines. If your breastfed baby geared towards their father, congrats to you, you have been given an extra 30 minute break in your day :)
.
Breastfeeding both my children has given us a very, very, very, very Strong bond, stronger then gorilla glue! I'm sure all breastfeeding advocates say "breast is best, you build such a strong bond". What they don't tell you is that as the sole provider for nutrition (breastfeeding, not pumping) your child will imprint your face in their brain, JUST LIKE A GOSLING
Not only are you the sole nutritional provider, you also end up doing everything else most of the time because lets face it, breastfed babies nurse a lot. You might as well change that poopy diaper dads running from, and while your at it change the clothes too. Might as well shower them, might as well do everything else!
I often feel that there is no room for dad when it comes to the breastfed baby. We are taught not to pump for 2 months, breastfeed on demand, stare at your baby, cuddle your baby, wake up every hour at night and nurse 15x a day, be there for your baby AT ALL TIMES. Where's dads spot? Where does dad fit into this this equation? I often argued with my husband about me doing all the work when in the reality my baby chose me to do all the work. They didn't want dad. They wanted a warm breast, warm milk, long hair to wrap around their tiny fingers, a soft spot in the perfect place. A woman was built to do this and her infant was meant to need her.
My son is a mama's boy and my daughter is mama's girl. It is apparent at all times, it's probably the only thing my husband gets jealous about (I'm pretty sure he could do without all the hard work). Dad shouldn't get credit for my lactating boobs, 3am feedings at 14 months (yes, 14 months) and hard work. They are mines :)
****************
Every situation is different, this is mines. If your breastfed baby geared towards their father, congrats to you, you have been given an extra 30 minute break in your day :)
.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Super Mom I am Not!
I have no desire to have Breakfast ready before my kids wake up, or to have the cleanest house in America (If anything, I actually may end up on the show "Clean House"). I don't want to iron my clothes, or tuck in my sons shirt. I don't mind having breakfast for Lunch and dinner at 8. I have no desire to Perfect the small or Large things when it comes to Parent hood. Life is like a box of chocolates and you don't really find that out until you have some spawn of your own.
When I wake up, I don't know if I'm going to wake up in a puddle of pee (yes we co- sleep, if sardines can do it, so can we) or with drips of drool on my face because my puppy, uh I mean son, is hovering over me with a huge watery grin on his face. Sometimes the sun is out, sometimes its not. Breakfast happens when it can and Summer is completely content with her honey nut cheerios and some juice on the side. Who says she needs breakfast fit for a queen everyday? No me!
The only thing consistent in our lives is my sons nap and even that's changing a little more everyday. I cant predict tomorrow but I can tell you I don't care much for being a super mom. I wont post a status update on my perfectly well behaved children (because they aren't) or how I completely adore being a mother (some days I think I should be getting paid for this full time gig lol). I won't pretend that I dont take just a little longer in the bathroom, or wish I could hide under the bed without my rugrats finding me . Super mom can do it all, and guess what? I can't and I'm okay with that :)
When I wake up, I don't know if I'm going to wake up in a puddle of pee (yes we co- sleep, if sardines can do it, so can we) or with drips of drool on my face because my puppy, uh I mean son, is hovering over me with a huge watery grin on his face. Sometimes the sun is out, sometimes its not. Breakfast happens when it can and Summer is completely content with her honey nut cheerios and some juice on the side. Who says she needs breakfast fit for a queen everyday? No me!
The only thing consistent in our lives is my sons nap and even that's changing a little more everyday. I cant predict tomorrow but I can tell you I don't care much for being a super mom. I wont post a status update on my perfectly well behaved children (because they aren't) or how I completely adore being a mother (some days I think I should be getting paid for this full time gig lol). I won't pretend that I dont take just a little longer in the bathroom, or wish I could hide under the bed without my rugrats finding me . Super mom can do it all, and guess what? I can't and I'm okay with that :)
Monday, September 12, 2011
I bet you already knew that
Only a mom would know how great it would feel to
take a shower after a long day (or 2, no I'm not disgusting; I'm occupied )
eat dinner in peace,
sleep 13 hours straight.
Think without interruptions
Go out with some friends
Relax
not get dirty as soon as your bathed or dressed.
have the kids sleep in sync
This is my 2011 Christmas wish List, I don't want another camera, or that iPhone clutch I've been dying for, or a day at the salon so I can finally wax my eye brows..Now who's going to make my wish Come true?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Child Psych 101
When I was pregnant with my Accidental Love Bug, Summer, I was attending my 2nd year of college. I took child psych enthusiastically, thinking it would prepare me for this growing bean in my bulging belly. It taught me all sorts of stuff. The best advice (I thought at the time) from what I can remember now (after too much NickJr and being a stay at home mom) was letting my child be a free child. Parents usually stick their infants in many devices to stay hands free. It is said most infants are in devices (stroller, car seat, playpenbounce chair, etc.) more then they are in their parents arms.
Letting your kids roam free Safely was the best thing you could do for you child, the psych book basically said "ditch the play pen". So before my bouncing watermelon entered the world, I was anti-Playpen. I wanted to raise a "Free Range" baby and so I did!
My little baby girl went from laying in bed like a sack of potatoes, to sitting in mommy's lap assisted, exploring the world as far as her little beady eyes would let her. She followed all the normal baby stuff. Poop, pee, make mommy crazy, oh yeah and Crawl. The dreaded Crawl.
Life was sweet before that horrid milestone reached our lives. I never did take child psych 2, but Im sure it would of said something like this
"Although letting your child be free is recommended, I personally suggest you don't try it. Why, You ask!?
Because no matter how much you baby proof and watch your child, he or she will manage to
find a cord she can tug on,
get a toy she can bang against the glass coffee table you should of got rid of
find a 2 month old french fry you never knew about,
jet to the cat and dog water bowl all within 10 seconds for a nice hand wash
play with the dust bunnies you forgot to wipe away (hey Im not super mom, I cant do it all),
take a sip from the cup of soda you confidently left on the floor
Pull out every DVD you ever owned
And learn the word "No" in a day because You said it 1 billion times (yes you do say it that much)."
The book failed to tell me my child will eventually walk, and reach things she never did before, have a different view of life, and get to things faster then she did yesterday.
Summer is almost 3 now and is still a free range child. She fends for her self, she acts as if she was raised with a pack of wolves (no literally, shes regressed to getting on her fours, eating without her hands and begging for food lol). She is a very happy independent child. She knows her boundaries and likes to push them, she has no limits to life, but with my guide and safety I can show her the way.
I'm making the Same bitter sweet mistake with her baby Brother!
Letting your kids roam free Safely was the best thing you could do for you child, the psych book basically said "ditch the play pen". So before my bouncing watermelon entered the world, I was anti-Playpen. I wanted to raise a "Free Range" baby and so I did!
My little baby girl went from laying in bed like a sack of potatoes, to sitting in mommy's lap assisted, exploring the world as far as her little beady eyes would let her. She followed all the normal baby stuff. Poop, pee, make mommy crazy, oh yeah and Crawl. The dreaded Crawl.
Life was sweet before that horrid milestone reached our lives. I never did take child psych 2, but Im sure it would of said something like this
"Although letting your child be free is recommended, I personally suggest you don't try it. Why, You ask!?
Because no matter how much you baby proof and watch your child, he or she will manage to
find a cord she can tug on,
get a toy she can bang against the glass coffee table you should of got rid of
find a 2 month old french fry you never knew about,
jet to the cat and dog water bowl all within 10 seconds for a nice hand wash
play with the dust bunnies you forgot to wipe away (hey Im not super mom, I cant do it all),
take a sip from the cup of soda you confidently left on the floor
Pull out every DVD you ever owned
And learn the word "No" in a day because You said it 1 billion times (yes you do say it that much)."
The book failed to tell me my child will eventually walk, and reach things she never did before, have a different view of life, and get to things faster then she did yesterday.
Summer is almost 3 now and is still a free range child. She fends for her self, she acts as if she was raised with a pack of wolves (no literally, shes regressed to getting on her fours, eating without her hands and begging for food lol). She is a very happy independent child. She knows her boundaries and likes to push them, she has no limits to life, but with my guide and safety I can show her the way.
I'm making the Same bitter sweet mistake with her baby Brother!
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